I have trouble getting my young kids to listen. How can I get them to do what I want?

SUMMARY

Kids love it when they think they’re smarter than you. Get their attention by acting incompetent!

WHY?

To a kid, everybody is always telling them what to do and how to do it. Parents and teachers are constantly correcting them. To get their attention, change it up and make them feel like they know more than you do. This tip works well with toddlers and is still working with my 2nd grade son. It’s shocking that it works, but it really does.

For example, my kids sometimes don’t want to put on their shoes and socks. So I’ll sit them down, grab a shoe and call it a sock. “Ok, let’s put on your sock.” An immediate smile comes across their face and they say, “No, that’s a shoe!” Then say “Oh, you’re right!” as you then grab their other shoe and call that one a sock. Finally grab their sock and say, “Ok, let’s get this on your foot.” but then put it on their hand. They’ll correct you and think that this is the funniest thing they’ve ever seen. Finally, you look at them and say, “This sock won’t fit your foot because your foot is way too big!” Again, they’ll laugh, stick out their foot to prove you wrong and you slip on their sock. “See!” they’ll say and you say, “ooohh, wow, I didn’t think that would fit at all. I’m sure the other one won’t fit.”

Soon enough, they’ve got both socks on. Then proceed to grab the right shoe for their left foot, or attempt to put the shoe on their hand or put the shoe on backwards (toes into the heal and wonder why it doesn’t fit). Eventually you’ll get around to getting everything on and for them, they loved teaching you something and had a blast getting dressed.

I do this sort of thing frequently with all sorts of things and the options are endless. Call pants a shirt, a hair brush a toothbrush, fill a bath with water the perfect temperature and tell them that it’s freezing (touch it and pretend it is) and say that there is no way that they can go into water so cold. Sure enough, they’ll touch it, laugh and watch the shock on your face as they think you believe that they’ve just entered an icy tub.

In the end, everybody is smiling, happy and you got them to do exactly what you wanted them to do in a fun way.

My kids want to touch everything all time time. Whenever we go to a store and I’m afraid they are going to break things. I ask them to stop but they don’t. What should I do?

SUMMARY

Kids always want to touch everything and there’s not stopping them. So why try? Let them touch things but with one stipulation: They can only use one finger.

WHY?

Hands provide great sensory feedback. Kids love exploring and touching things to learn about their environment. You can stop them from touching things by force (hold their hands, carry them, make them sit in a chair) but that will only take you so far. Their desire to touch things is still there and probably building.

Rather than try to prevent the kids touching things, do the opposite. Let them touch things but only with one finger. We call it, “one finger touch” and you can start teaching them to do this as babies. Wherever you are, take their hand, pull one finger up and guide their finger to touch things. Every time you do it, say, “one finger touch.” After a while, they will learn to stick out their own finger while you help them touch things.

As the kids become toddlers and start touching things on their own, you can say, “one finger touch” and they will know exactly what to do. They’re touching things, but in a controlled way!

I owe this tip to my friend Christi. It always stuck with me and I knew I would follow her advice when I had kids of my own. Sure enough, it works great! My kids would walk around touching all sorts of things without incident. Sometimes they treat their finger like a little magic wand. As they walk, they stick out their finger, and touch one item and then the next, saying “ding” each time they touch an something. It’s cute and people would comment about how gentle and well behaved they are.

You’re never going to stop your kids from wanting to touch things, and this is a great way to let them do what they want, without having to exercise the “you break it, you bought it” rule.

Note: WOTnWHY is not responsible in the unlikely event that something does break while doing “one finger touch.”